Showing Against Children, and Other Tales

We even jumped this baby fake trakehner on the BN course. Ollie said whatevsies, where's my hay?

So I am finally entered into my first three-phase in more than two years. TWO YEARS, Y’ALL. To save me from myself and my neuroses, Angela suggested that I do Starter for my first event back, and I’m glad I’m doing it. Because I also bought my first pair of white breeches ever, and I don’t want to shit my pants in them.

So I have my whole outfit planned for dressage/stadium. New white breeches? Check. OMG JACKET? Check. I have threatened to put a shiny blue ribbon on Ollie’s nubbin, but I’ll settle for putting it on for funsy photos before/after so I don’t horrify Angela. Fairly sure she’s striking me from her memory right now and leaving me in Oklahoma next weekend.

This is the ribbon in question.
This is the ribbon in question.

We also went schooling at Pine Hill yesterday – my first time there. Ollie was such a freaking rock star that we’ve decided to make that my next event – and back to BN.  I never once felt nervous yesterday, and for me, that’s really saying something…. because, you know, me. I also am learning to go forward, and I told Angela I’d buy her a celebratory beer should I make time on XC (for the FIRST FREAKING TIME EVER). I think Angela’s program has put a nice protective wax coating on my growing lady balls.

We even jumped this baby fake trakehner on the BN course. Ollie said whatevsies, where's my hay?
We even jumped this baby fake trakehner on the BN course. Ollie said whatevsies, where’s my hay?

Recently, a kid from our barn completed her first USEA event on her adorable chunkamunk pony. She did awesome! Yay! So awesome that she decided to also enter Feather Creek next weekend.

In the Starter division.

Showing against me.

DANGIT, BOBBY. So I knew going in that in Starter, it was gonna be green horses with adults, green horses with kids or green kids on adorable ponies. But now I have to compete with a green kid whom I *know* on an adorable pony. For some reason, this makes me feel like sitting in the corner and shoving pie down my throat. (OK, so I pretty much always feel like that. DON’T JUDGE ME, OK? GOD.) And this will not result in a pretty effect with my new white breeches that I don’t want to wear anyway.

I don’t want to be the dream-crushing adult stealing ribbons from cute, determined kids on cute ponies….  and I also don’t want to be the adult getting absolutely trounced by small children either. Hi, I can’t win.

Maybe I can channel my inner Not-So-Mean girl and share a ribbon.

JUST KIDDING. IN YOUR FACE, KID. BEST BRING YOUR A-GAME.

OK, not really. Mostly. Whatever, I’ll buy you ice cream no matter what, k?